Baby I just wanna feed you.

In recent memory I was diagnosed with a rare form of fetishism called Femalefoodophelia, which is the unique observation and admiration of women while they eat their food, thus causing me to be aroused, both mentally and physically.

sounds like a curse right?

WRONG!!!!

I've actually learned to live with this ailment quite surprisingly, but with my adaptation of it all,I had no one to attribute my vice to, no one to put the blame on,and every time I thought about it, the finger pointed in the same direction.

It pointed to her.

This is Diana, I am so uncertain of her ethnicity I could give a fuck less, even if she was green with horns and a orange bill, she would be the cutest little green horned orange billed no race card havinest girl on the block.

We had been "myspace" friends for a while now, but somehow even with her being from the charger town, I have felt a very ill connection with her, unsure of what that was I let it simmer inside me for all this time until I could accurately pinpoint why I see her the way I do.

and then it hit me.

She is the reason for my Femalefoodophelia.

she is the culprit.

call the cops you say?
inform the proper authorities you cry out?

FUCK OFF!!!!

For the longest time I can remember her snapping just about every meal in full detail, complete with the biggest smile you ever did see.

She enjoys portable, on the go, snack meals.

Meals that are snacks, but meal enough to fill you up with enough energy to be Diana.
so classy.

The idea of having a snackmeal with this woman is more and more a vision in the not so distant future, other than food, she is blessed with a very ill sense of humor, cute cheek structure, a aphrodite-esque shape, in which all pleasantries attached to her other dudes deem her "worth", I just see as bonus pieces.

As easy as it would be for me to link her to you guys.

Somethings I'd so much rather keep all to myself.

you? me? let's do lunch? cornbread for dessert?

I'ma Femalefoodopheliac and I don't give a fuck.

There has been a reportedly high number of fetishes for the weirdos and freaks out there that love all kinds of things done to them,There's a guy who likes to photograph women nude with monster masks on (Google it mufucka,it's there) There's even a few dudes who like to fuck really really large women and lock them inside burger king bathrooms,the point is eveybody's got their something and I think I might have found mine.

I am obsessed with watching,looking,staring and marveling at women while they eat their food.


crazy huh.
I see a woman eat a cheeseburger and I go from 6 to 12,tent gets pitched,the twin towers get a new one,safe to say I get some major wood!

Now I only noticed this about myself a few months back when we were out to eat one night,It was me and the homie rick,We went to eat the barely broke pho` that we've grown so accustomed to,while were eating I notice a pretty girl,asian in ethnic background,nice skin,madagascar bonus breasts with a very cute demanor.

anyways I looked over at her and as she ate her food,I started to feel the "world rise" if you get my drift,It was if we were making sex right then and there,I couldn't understand it,as the noodles slurpped and entered her mouth,all I could do was be erect,and I loved it.

I never told rick of this cause I thought it was embarrasing,besides my shit never tops his vegas stories,anyways I kept it a secret til I did some extensive research on google and I found that I am indeed alone in my freaky food fetish.I was left with nothing,all I wanted to know at that point was what would I call what I have? Is there even a clinical tern for something like this? So being that I am the only known case I must come up with one myself.

Sooooooooo.

I recently put my new found fetish out for the world to see via Twitter,and I got some pretty interesting feedback,A few friends hit me back with terms and there are what I got.

1.Foodrocondriac
2.Femalefoodophelia

Now seeing how I have options I picked and choosed the one clinical term I felt matched my overall symptoms and whichever of the two was the illest sounding and I came to a conclusion......

I AM A MOTHERFUCKING FEMALEFOODOPHELIAC SON!

So now that I know what I am I guess I'm gonna have to seek some help.
So if there's any ladies that wanna go get some "food" with me,let's go "eat",or more like let's go eat so I can watch you eat and get a boner, (;